An Expert of Love Can Sometime Make Mistake

Author: Autumn Lover
Title: An Expert of Love Can Sometime Make Mistake
Link: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/AUTUMN_LOVER/
Status: On-going
Reviewer: TongTong

Title: 4/5
The title is certainly attractive, but I find it too long and too specific that it lacked the mysterious factor.  In other words, the title kind of narrowed down the number of readers…people who are looking for precisely this type of story would certainly click on the story link, but the rest might not be interested to give the story a try, thinking it would just be another typical “player turned faithful” story.

First Impression: 5/10
The story page speaks out, “It’s definitely NOT an idol story…it’s my (slightly) modified life story.”  To be honest, the default colours didn’t appeal to me either.

Forewords: 7/10
Somehow you tried to make the forewords poetic, or to have an artsy mood that readers can fall into…but the grammatical mistakes killed that mood…It’s definitely an attractive forewords if you can go back and proof-read it.

Plot: 10/15
There isn’t much of a ‘tangible’ plot…it’s more like a journey to the deepest depth of the soul.  Because your ‘story’ is more like collection of many different pieces, I’ll go easy on you with the marking on this one.

Creativity/Originality: 14/15
I have seen collection of reflective pieces before on winglin, but most of them are poetries...so yours is pretty unique. ^__^

Flow: 3/10
Your grammar really jolts the mind out of whatever mood you are initially trying to create.

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 5/10
Although, your grammar didn’t distract me completely from understanding each of the reflection pieces, it’s still very distracting.  The followings are just some of the common mistakes that I saw in your writing:

-No capitalization of the pronoun ‘I’
-Not staying in one verb tense
-Inappropriate use of punctuations
-typos
-spelling errors
-awkward sentences
(ie. I have experience much worser pains as the day grew by…..—Chapter 3)
(Suggestion:  I have experienced much worse pains as each day passed by.)

You should take the time to proof read your work.  If you find it hard to improve your writing by yourself, then find a beta reader.
   
Characterisation: 8/10
I can picture tell main character from each of the chapters apart.  The first chapter starring a girl who falls in love quite innocently.  The main heroine from the second chapter is an ordinary, yet cheerful girl.  The third heroine is prideful and ambitious.  But still, you can make their characters even more apparent.

Writing Style: 8/10
I like the inner descriptive first-person perspective.  You definitely write with a strong passion, and I think you could become a great writer someday.  However again, you definitely need to work on your grammar and take the time to proof-read.

Overall Enjoyment: 5/5
It’s nice, because I can feel myself in each of the heroines’ shoes through your passionate writing.

Sub Total: 69/100

Bonus: 5/5

Total: 74/100

I apologize for the delayed review.  Thank you for requesting from i-DEAS!  I hope you’ll request from us again in the future!