A Different Side Of Love by ShadowYin

Author : ShadowYin
Title : A Different Side Of Love
Link : http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/SYdifferent/
Status : Completed
Reviewer : Anna @ i-DEAS (ROL)


Warning : The reviewer may not know the author and vice versa. We are here to review your fan fiction as honest as we can in order for you to improve. Irritating words and eye-sore critics may appear in this, -directly or indirectly. But all of that is for no other means, except to aid you in improving yourself. My POV may differ from others. I sincerely apologize if my review contains any offensive comments and criticisms. Thank you.

P/S: I am a strict reviewer.

Title : 4/5
First, relating it to your story, I do find it very matching and you succeeded in bringing out the meaning beyond the title. Still, if I were to think about the story, and then the title, there will be something else better to name after this fic. I like the title, it's enough and not too exaggerating.

First impression : 8/10
I like the poster, but I think it should be minimized a little. The width is enough, it's just the height. Other than that, the link color should be changed to something else to suit the poster and background, that goes for the sub-title too so that they won't be against each other.

Forewords : 8/10
Finally, a good foreword. I can't say that it's perfect but I am very happy to see such a good foreword. I've been reviewing some fanfics with plain forewords and I was getting irritated by it. However, despite the elaborated introduction, your foreword has some grammatical and tenses errors. I'll talk about this later.

Plot : 13/15
I find the story very well thought of but there are some parts which are located and fragmented at the wrong place. The plot should be going in order or flashbacks, but this one is different. It is like a diary, written with dates and stuff. It is not wrong to do like that, in fact it will be very good if you know how to structure it. However, you lose some teensy details of the plot and I found out that some main points aren't emphasized enough. Overall, it is great.

Creativity/ Originality : 14/15
I gave you full points for the originality because it is rare to find a love story which is not considering about the love of a girl and a boy. I admire your bravery to start a new genre of story, which is an inspirational, family story. You can be more creative since the storyline is already good and original. It gives you the opportunity to show the inputs you can throw into the story. Try expressing more on the situation, whether it is chaotic or what (especially the part where the little brother was abused by the father). You can describe the third party's pain by telling it on first POV (Donghae's view).

Flow : 8/10
I think maybe you planned for this story to be longer because from what I have seen, it has been brought fast forward. At first I thought that you're going to tell us more about the sister since she just came into the family, but then another family member was born. I'm not saying that you should describe more about the sister, but just give us something which makes the little sister very special. The ending is good, it isn't too rushed.

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary : 6/10
Concerning the grammar, I did find a lot of mistakes but that's okay since everyone is not perfect in this. Let me point out some of those mistakes.

1.Where the boy and girl meets, fall in love, gets married and lives happily ever after.
-Where the boy and girl meet, fall in love, get married, and live happily every after. (There are two individuals, a boy and a girl. So there shouldn't be 's')

2.I’m sorry to disappoint you, but this is my story, a story which meant a lot to me
-I'm sorry to disappoint you, but this is my story. A story that means a lot to me.

3.So if it’s someone you know and you care about how would you feel then?
-So if it’s someone you know and you care about, how would you feel then?

Proof-check before you post, if you don't like it, you can do it some other time and it'll be easier to spot your mistakes. (Believe me, I don't like proof-checking either).

Characterization : 10/10
Well done

Writing style : 8/10
Everyone has their own writing style and yours is good. Although there are some combined sentences and they make it look a little bit messy. Still, it is understandable.

Overall enjoyment : 4/5
Very enjoyable and heart-wrenching.

Sub total : 83/100

Bonus : 3/5
For making you own poster, also for telling this to the public in a form of story. For having the courage to write even if this hurts you. I salute you for that.

Total : 86/100
Well done. Stay strong ^___^