Flashback. by ; cho h y e s u n !

Author : ; cho h y e s u n !
Title : Flashback.
Link : http://winglin.net/fanfic/_flashback/
Status : Completed
Reviewer : Anna Sungmin @ RawrOutLoud

Warning : The reviewer may not know the author and vice versa. We are here to review your fan fiction as honest as we can in order for you to improve. Irritating words and eye-sore critics may appear in this, -directly or indirectly. But all of that is for no other means, except to aid you in improving yourself. I sincerely apologize if my review contains any offensive comments and criticisms. Thank you.

Title : 5/5
It may sound simple, but behind it, it is actually very meaningful. That’s why I like it. The other reason is because the story consists of different flashbacks, which is very enjoyable to read.

Poster/Background : -/10
N/A. It’ll be nicer to request one.

Forewords : 8/10
Very tempting indeed but it doesn’t really tell the story from the start. I know that you planned to start it on the 1st chapter, but a little bit of showing Hyesun’s ‘depression’ would be great.

Plot : 14/15
I don’t really give high marks to people especially in this section, so this should be something that can make you proud of your story. The plot is great, although I found it a little bit cliché of Hyesun to kill herself and died just like that. Still, it’s good. I like it because of the of the logical pattern with sequenced flashbacks and it helped to improve the plot a lot. Well done.

Creativity/ Originality : 13/15
Again, I praise you for your creativity. It makes your story really amusing to read and at the same time, letting your readers feel how Hyesun and Seungri was feeling. The part of killing herself is quite common. Girls go under pressure, boys betray them, they’re all quite common. If I were to push them aside, I’d say your fanfic is uber good.

Flow : 10/10
The flashbacks helped a lot. They tell us what happened in the past and at the same time, they don’t drag the story.

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary : 8/10
A few grammar mistakes and the wrong tenses. Surely can be revised and corrected. The rest is good and you can handle your language really well.

Characterization : 9/10
I would classify two things as ‘unelaborated’, the part WHY Seungri made love with that girl and betray Hyesun, and the part WHY did Hyesun feel ‘sick’? I want to know what happened between them. Plus, I think Hyesun should listen to what Seungri wanted to say. I feel like Seungri was being tortured over and over. *pats poor panda*

Writing style : 10/10
It is a little different, but really neat. : )

Overall enjoyment : 4/5
I love reading sad stories. This should be an advantage. :D But I did enjoy it ^^

Sub total : 81/90
I didn’t include the poster.

Bonus : 2/5

Total : 83/90 = 92%
Well done. :D