Heartbeat by jwyl

Title: Heartbeat
Author: Jwyl
Link: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/jwyl01
Status: Completed
Reviewer: Lyselmae Atienza-LatienzaRawr.Out.Loud

*note*I am only a reviewer, I am here to help you improve on your future fanfics. So please do not be offended by my comments. – Latienza

Title: -4/5
I gave you a 4 because I found the title very interesting, yet for me, I feel as if something was missing. Not everyone would be captured and persuaded in reading your fanfic, due to your title. But I ensure you that it is still a captivating title

First Impression: -8/10
When I first open a link/fanfic, I always look at the connection that the title and poster have. It gave me a very good impression. Yet why did I give you an 8? It’s because the background could be improved. This goes mostly to the artist I guess… The quotes you chose were very interesting as well.

Forewords: -5/10
The forewords itself is self-explanatory. You need to add more detail, but since it’s a One-Shot, I gave you a 5.

Plot: -13/15
The plot was very very very good. You could, although, improve in many ways such as adding twists... but since it's a one-shot, it was alright. 13 is the most deserved because the part near the ending was predictable, but the ending itself was outstanding.

Creativity/Originality: -14/15
People usually like to have a happy ending. Yours was a mixture of both happy and sad ending which was greatly appreciated especially with the type of plot and storyline you chose. So I gave you a 14.

Flow: -9/10
The flow was good. Nothing happened too fast, or too slow. I just don’t give full marks when I know that there is something missing.

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: -8/10
I really wanted to mark you hard on this one, but it was very hard to find mistakes. But there were a few. For example: “After today, we’ll be together forever Ri In.” You have to remember the COMMA when indicating a name. Overall, I liked your precision of language.

Characterization: -8/10
I gave you a 8 because you really didn’t have a choice with your characters. But the minor characters were a good pick.

Writing Style: -8/10
I liked your writing style. It wasn’t in script style earning you an 8. It could be improved like by describing Junsu’s tux more, or Ri In’s dress… etc. You get the point right?

Overall Enjoyment: -3/5
I enjoyed your story. But since I’m not a huge fan of Junsu, I gave a 4. It’s not really your fault.

Sub Total: -81/100

Bonus: -1/5
I would’ve given you higher if it was a longer story. Hahah.

Total: -82/100