~*~Niji Gakuen~*~ by Yuna Ninomiya

Author : Yuna Ninomiya
Title : ~*~Niji Gakuen~*~
Link : http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/kazunari_yuna/
Status : On-Going
Reviewer : Anna Sungmin @ RawrOutLoud

Warning : The reviewer may not know the author and vice versa. We are here to review your fan fiction as honest as we can in order for you to improve. Irritating words and eye-sore critics may appear in this, -directly or indirectly. But all of that is for no other means, except to aid you in improving yourself. My POV may differ from others. I sincerely apologize if my review contains any offensive comments and criticisms. Thank you.


Title : 3/5
I don't know what Niji Gakuen means.. It's the name of the campus right? It is pretty interesting, but it would be better to keep it 'Niji Gakuen' instead of '~*~Niji Gakuen~*~'. It is neater that way and much more presentable.


First impression : 8/10
My first impression was “Oh, she has a nice poster. Not bad.” because from your title, I was afraid that your poster will be more or less like your title, which is fancy but not formal. I was really glad that the pictures of the girls there are labeled with their names cause I simply had to refer back to the poster to know who are who and so on. (Cause you have Japanese and Korean characters and I couldn't remember their names just like that.) BUT, your link color is totally off with the poster and background. They are in blue and purples. Try to change it to other colors which match the whole poster and bg.


Forewords : 4/10
I could only give you marks for the brief introduction about the girl leaving the boy, but not much. First, I don't know what the girl will be doing since the introduction you put up is really short.


Plot : 10/15
I cannot say that I fancy the plot, or say I dislike the plot. It is in between. You have the idea, but somehow, it's not really 'lively'. The first 8 chapters were used to explain the entrance of the girls to Niji Gakuen and the rest are when everything starts. So it doesn't really tell us what is going to happen. I mean, it has just started and I couldn't find any BIG, INTERESTING, event.


Creativity/ Originality : 13/15
I like how you described the campus, the rich type of campus. Very fairytale-like and imaginative. The combination of modern and those princesses and princes tales which made this story different than the others. I don't know if you had noticed this, but there are a lot of stories in winglin with those campus type and got accepted because of talent and so on. What I like about this is how you make me imagine how great the campus is.


Flow : 9/10
So far so good. It is not too fast and not too slow. But the part when one of the Japanese boys (I forgot his name) starting to like Jiro's girlfriend was too fast. They just met!


Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary : 8/10
Your vocabulary is above average and it is very nice to read organized words. However, there are still small mistakes and spelling error.


Characterization : 5/10
I had to squeeze my brain to remember all the names but I couldn't. The only names I could remember is of course, the Korean names and a few of Korean girl characters. I couldn't remember all the Japanese girls because there are many and it confused me on trying to remember who they met and their connection to one another. (Thanks to the poster, because I had to look back to see who they are).


Writing style : 9/10
At first, your writing style in your forewords was hard to read. But coming to first chapter, it was really good.


Overall enjoyment : 2/5
It was okay. Maybe it bores me a little cause I had to go through each of the characters leaving their families and etc. But I also enjoyed reading JiYong's slyness and some other girls' personality


Sub total : 71/100


Bonus : 2/5
You replied to your readers. Very good.


Total : 73/100
Well done. Impressive ^^