An Angel In Hell by TopToryfangurl~;D

Title: An Angel In Hell {D A (R) K F I C}
Author: TopToryfangurl~;D
Link: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/AngelHell
Status: On-Going
Reviewer: Lyselmae Atienza-LatienzaRawr.Out.Loud

*note*I am only a reviewer, I am here to help you improve on your future fanfics. So please do not be offended by my comments. I have NOTHING against the author. – Latienza

Title: 4/5
The title itself was straight to the point, and at the same time, it was very attractive in terms of captivating a reader’s attention. I didn’t give you a full mark though because the title kind of gave away the main idea, but it was all good. I have to give you props though in connecting the title really well with the story. Great job.

First Impression: 8/10
This section is usually for the Reviewer. So I might be the only one who has this type of impression. Just opening this fanfic, I felt the thrill in reading this type of story. Especially with the characters that were chosen. I only gave you an 8 because reading for forewords and such, I was confused if it was really a Rated fanfic because you kept indicating that it was, then it wasn’t so… better get that straight.

Forewords: 7/10
You did more of connecting with the reader than actually giving a foreword. In addition, if you had expanded your thoughts in your forewords, your mark could’ve increased. But I have to tell you the truth, I found your prologue interesting. You just need to think about what’s missing like introduction of characters, etc, and what’s not needed.

Plot: 13.5/15
The plot was very different than others. It really portrays reality. Not some fairytale, but reality. I guess, what I’m trying to say is that it really gives readers an insight of the ‘real’ world. A 13.5 was well deserved.

Creativity/Originality: 14/15
Your overall creativity was good. There weren’t any problems with it. The poster and background really suit the story. With originality, it was also good. Your fanfic is unique, but I guess I’ve found some of your scenes in other stories, earning you a 14. Still pretty high, no?

Flow: 9/10
The flow was good. No stopping. It kept going as was expected.

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 8/10
Honestly, nothing was wrong with your vocabulary, your precision of language was acceptable and at the same time, unique. Spelling/Grammar on the other hand, was alright. A few mistakes were made. The only thing you need I guess is to reread your chapter, after being written to prevent mistakes like: “He made his over to the bed.”

Characterization: 8/10
Your characterization was good. No problems with it. I’m not really familiar with these characters, so I have nothing against it… for now. Haha. I do somewhat get confused because there may be too many major characters. You may not know it but, minor characters shouldn’t be in important scenes ALL the time. You didn’t have a problem with that, but I just wanted to tell you that next time, don’t make too many major characters. Focus on 2 or 3 major, then the rest minors. It may just be me, so please excuse me, but I am still a reader right?

Writing Style: 8/10
Your writing style didn’t really bother me. It was easy to read, but I guess you should just describe more. Add more details, not only to the characters, but in the setting, moods, etc.

Overall Enjoyment: 2.5/5
I enjoyed it, but I guess I don’t like seeing people do those violent things to themselves. It’s not really the authors fault. It’s mine. It’s my opinion so…

Sub Total: 74/100

Bonus: 2/5
I gave you a 2 for requesting @ Rawr.Out.Loud for both poster/background & review :)

Total: 76/100