Author: C andy . C anes
Title: [R] o m a n t i c H e i g h t s – SM H.S [R]
URL: http://winglin.net/fanfic/c_cstorylines2/
Reviewer: TongTong
Title: 5/5
The title design is creative, definitely eye-catching in the winglin index
First Impression: 6/10
You should try to get a poster soon, because it will cater in more readers for you. As cruel as it sounds, most people might quickly click back to the main index page when they don’t see a poster. Otherwise, I think your choice of colour is great—royal blue totally speaks out the mood of your story.
Forewords: 9/10
I love the forward! You got a great reader hook. However, it really reminds me of Gossip Girl. Did you watch that show before? Because for some reasons, I feel your plot and writing are gonna be heavily influenced by that show. Anyways, one point is deducted because I can’t really differentiate the characters from each of the one-line dialogues. You’re basically telling me who are the cast and that’s it, mind as well just list out their names without the dialogues.
Plot: 12/15
The first few chapters are good, but after that, I feel your plot is really picking it up slow. I guess that’s inevitable because you have some many characters in your story—it seems like you want to put every character around the same level in terms of story development.
Creativity/Originality: 13/15
Although it’s a high school theme, you have made a twist to it when you focus on the social hierarchy of high school. I know some other writers have attempted to do the same, but you do it more tastefully and more entertaining with an adequate amount of realism.
Flow: 7/10
Overall, the flow is quite decent from one chapter to the next. However, within each chapter itself, I feel quite a bit of rush at times due so many characters, yet quite slow at times when the descriptions become excessive that could end up causing confusions for readers.
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 10/10
I have nothing to complain about your spelling/grammar/vocabulary. If there are any mistakes, they’re pretty minors.
Characterisation: 7/10
Correct me if I’m wrong, but I know you’re really trying to differentiate the characters…I know it’s gonna sound cruel, but you need to try harder, especially since you have a huge cast list.
Writing Style: 9/10
Some wordiness in your paragraphs…I think it’s best to keep the writing simple and clear at times. Sometimes, I feel you are explaining one thing at too many angles, inevitably could affect the flow of the story. Another thing about your writing is that you need to work on your ending hooks (or cliff-hangers); your chapters seem too perfect and too complete…sometimes imperfection is the most intriguing ingredient in a story. Otherwise, your writing is very descriptive.
Overall Enjoyment: 4/5
It’s an interesting read, though reminds me of Gossip Girl at times.
Sub Total: 82/100
Overall, I think you have a great command of English, but there things you still need to work on such as the flow and characterization. As well, you need to cut down on descriptions at times to avoid clouding or boring the readers: Keep it simple. Suggestion: just pretend you’re the cameraman and what you want to the readers to see, nothing more, nothing less. Also, you need to work on cliff-hangers, and if possible, make your chapters shorter so that your readers won’t be too tired out to write you comments after they read each chapter. Lastly, a poster of some sort would certainly help to boost your readership. Best of luck in your writing career!
Bonus: 5/5
Total: 87/100
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