When Death Spoke to Her by The Unfaithful One

Title: When Death Spoke to Her
Author: The Unfaithful One
URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/chair/
Reviewed by: Andi @ i-DEAS

Title: 4/5
The words seriously caught my attention! I glanced at it, and was like, “Whoa. Death. Speaking to someone. Either they’re crazy, or it’s some weird metaphor. I have to read this story.”

First Impression: 8/10
The poster wasn’t the best art in the world, but everyone’s going to have a different opinion on that. The background’s a plain black, so I thought this was going to be a dark and depressing story, but it was just depressing. It set the mood, but the poster could have been a little more…eye-catching, if you get me.

Forewords: 7/10
Normally, I like relatively simple forewords (too much isn’t always the best), but you neglected to speak about the characters. I wanted to know who they were, where they had come from, what their personalities were like, etc. I understand if you didn’t want to give out too much in fear of giving away the plot, but just take it into consideration for your next story.

Plot: 14/15
It was a little complex, and I liked it! I’ve never read anything like it.

Creativity/Originality: 15/15
See above. According to the numbers you get a 15, but in my book, you get a bajillion stars! Go creative writing!

Flow: 8/10
The flow was moderate: not too fast and not too slow. There were some parts where I was confused as to the time jumping, but that’s all right.

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 9/10
I found nothing but common mistakes that everyone and their grandma makes. Good job!

Characterization: 6/10
As I said before, you didn’t delve into the characters as much as you should have. We got to know the main character and the nurse that tried to help her, and that’s about it. I wanted to know more about “Death” and what he was like, other than he loved his wife a lot. You did, however, make me look up the members of S.H.E and this guy named Chun. I had no clue who they were, and seeing as how I thought Chun was Micky Yoochun from DBSK…yeah, thank you for introducing new singers and stars to me!

Writing Style: 9/10
I’m thankful that you didn’t pull the “no paragraphs” stunt a lot of other writers pull. That’s a serious pet peeve of mine. The Enter button is everyone’s friend, after all. So again, thank you!

Overall Enjoyment: 5/5
One, two, three…LOOOOOOOOVED IT!

Sub Total: 85/100

Bonus: 3/5
Good luck with any future stories!

Total: 88/100