Author : DBsujuBBftiSHINee<3r//key's manoorah♡
Title : A.MI.GO.
Link : http://winglin.net/fanfic/amigox/
Status : Completed.
Reviewer : Anna Sungmin @ RawrOutLoud
Warning : The reviewer may not know the author and vice versa. We are here to review your fan fiction as honest as we can in order for you to improve. Irritating words and eye-sore critics may appear in this, -directly or indirectly. But all of that is for no other means, except to aid you in improving yourself. I sincerely apologize if my review contains any offensive comments and criticism. Thank you.
Title : 4/5 The title of SHINee’s album. I can’t argue with that. I am sure many would be interested to click on it to know what’s the story all about. But the other ‘1’ mark that I deducted from the perfect score is because I don’t think the story fits perfectly with the title ‘AMIGO’. The story is more like a broken-hearted girl who was healed by someone who is willing to love her freely. Not suffering because he loved a beautiful girl. As I see, he didn’t suffer much.
Poster/Background : 8.5/10 Poster is okay, with the dark shades everywhere. But the background was patches of small pictures.
Forewords : 7/10 Ahh, at first I was really shocked to see your forewords. Why would you put their lyrics instead of a snippet of the story? Mind you that I was really looking forward to reading your fic, but after I saw your forewords with the lyrics, I lost my interest. It’s like you’re giving people the English translation. The reason why I give you the marks is because when I keep on reading your story, I slowly understand why you insist on putting the lyrics there. You wanted to tell them how he felt right? Good choice. Yet, originality from you would add more compliment to your story.
Plot : 12/15 Girl was broken hearted, met the boy. But refused to admit her feeling. Hmm, it’s pretty outstanding and beguiling. I like it, but some characters just don’t match with your plot and their personality. Besides, Kibum’s moving is just too sudden all the time.
Creativity/ Originality : 11/15 I must be truthful that the story with these two main characters are quite common. Especially when you told us that Jessica was broken-hearted and Kibum was an average-happy boy who tried to consult her. Basically, like all happy ending story, they fell in love at the end. That’s what I found in this. Obstacles appeared when Kibum entered SM entertainment, and so on. The originality is not much. But you can still improve.
Flow : 5/10 You really dragged the story too much. Starting from when Kibum had to move, met the girl and fell in love is just too sudden and quick. In a blink, to be exact. Why didn’t you mention about why Kibum wanted to be a singer, and why did he have to move everytime? I understand that he has family matters in this, but you told us that the distance between the new school and the previous school was not too far. So I didn’t really get the point of why he should move when he can always stay. Except if it involves family finance and all. Also, about Jonghyun, Minho, Taemin and Onew entering the SM entertainment altogether. Why didn’t they go with Kibum? Why do they have to wait for a year and debut that fast without training like Kibum did? Or you’re saying that they’re training while studying? But why didn’t Jessica know about this? I have a lot of questions in my mind when it came to the end.
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary : 6/10 You started off simple, and neat. Although not much description and large vocabularies used, you still did good AT FIRST. But slowly, I noticed something irritating. You used, “Said he” instead of “He said” or “complained she” instead of “she complained”. I’m not saying that using this type of format is faulty, but it is more to writing poems or quotes. It’s not like you’re recruiting poems here with “said he” and “said she”. Also, I would suggest you to tell more about their feelings, and elaborate more. Your story needs more elaboration.
Characterization : 7.5/10
As I said earlier, I didn’t know who is Kibum and why did he want to enter SM entertainment, also the part when he enrolled and auditioned for SM entertainment. And at Minhwan’s appearance, I was really excited. But it came to an end that Minhwan didn’t even hold a big part in this. I thought that he’s going to be the third man in the relationship, but no. He appeared and acted like he’s just a minor.
Writing style : 10/10
No problem since it’s clean and spaced out. Easy for me to read.
Overall enjoyment : 5/5
Albeit the further questions and confusions, I am here to say that I enjoyed your story very well. These past few days, I was reading tons of fanfics to review, and this is the first time I’ve ever enjoyed it. Not that I’m saying that I didn’t enjoy others, but yours is easy to read and there’s not much complication and such bother. So well done. I also wanted to thank you because your story is such a fresh start for youngsters. Simple and enjoyable.
Sub total : 76/100
Bonus : 3/5
For always appreciating your readers, and for the first time writing this fanfic. (correct me if I’m wrong)
Total : 79/100
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