End Of a Dream by BoBoLi0us a.k.a akimotochiaki

Author : BoBoLi0us a.k.a akimotochiaki
Title : End Of a Dream
Link : http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/EndofAdream/
Status : Completed
Reviewer : Anna Sungmin @ RawrOutLoud

Warning : The reviewer may not know the author and vice versa. We are here to review your fan fiction as honest as we can in order for you to improve. Irritating words and eye-sore critics may appear in this, -directly or indirectly. But all of that is for no other means, except to aid you in improving yourself. I sincerely apologize if my review contains any offensive comments and criticism. Thank you.

Title : 5/5
I thought that you’re going to put some normal titles. But you know? I really loved the whole idea of putting it “end of a dream”

Poster/Background : 10/10
The poster is very nice, I must say. The quotes made me open more to the story and it suits the mood.

Forewords : 8.5/10
You gave us the preview of what we’re going to read. It was pretty vague, since we didn’t know what happened at first. But it was revealed one by one through the chapters.

Plot : 14/15
Rather than using a happy ending, you ended the story with a depressing tone and mood. It is so my type. Sometimes people would expect that Soomi and Key will go back; forgive and forget. But you made it into a new world. Where the girl’s undiscovered feelings were buried inside her until the day she left them.

Creativity/ Originality : 12/15
It is original enough to me as what I stated earlier. I found the letter really beguiling and it was sad that she didn’t say much to Key in her letter. Also, Key’s real feeling wasn’t revealed. You twisted the story over, and I like it. You let people discover the real meaning inside the story. That’s something I want to see. But when Soomi left the boys was too cliché. And it looks like she knew what’s going to happen. Or she planned her death? Or she had some fatal disease?

Flow : 9/10
Very good. Despite that the fact where she left them just like that. Sometimes, keeping it too long is boring. The best way is to keep it like it’s going on. And you did it, well done.

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary : 8.5/10
Grammar and spelling mistakes are everyone’s enemy. You wont be able to get away with it unless you’re a robot or you spent the whole day or probably week, checking the same chapter again and again. You have sufficient volume of vocabularies and also direct speech.

Characterization : 10/10
Perfect. You included details about who they are, and when you pulled in another character, it didn’t disturbed your whole story/plot.

Writing style : 10/10
Easy to understand

Overall enjoyment : 5/5
I am not just doing this. I am really honest because this type of story is in my area. I love reading short and organized story. Esp. when it’s a depressing one. XD

Sub total : 92/100

Bonus : 2/5
You did this story smoothly, go BoBo~!

Total : 94/100
Good luck on the challenge.