Your Mine? I'm Yours? by SaneKyo

Title : Your Mine? I'm Yours?
Author : SaneKyo
URL : www.winglin.net/fanfic/ghostielun/
Status : On-going.
Reviewer : Mickey @ RawrOutLoud

Warning : The reviewer has nothing against the author. This is just an honest and strict review which will help the author to improve himself/herself in the next attempt of writing a story. Please do not get angry if there any unpleasant comments.

Title: 3/5
The title wasn’t so attention grabbing to me. It did fit with the story, but not perfectly.

Poster/Background: 4/10
When I first saw the poster, I was like, “What is this?”. It didn’t show the characters nor did it have anything that would grab the attention of the readers. All it had was Seung Ri, and I’m guessing the one he’s hugging is, Ji Yong?

Forewords: 5/10
The forwards was really boring. It didn’t have anything in it besides the pairing of the guys that you were going to write about. You should have written their personalities, or a small preview of each story.

Plot: 10/15
Honestly, I thought I was reading the same plot over and over again. Like, I thought it was practically the same thing over and over again, except with a small change of things. Also, in each story, everything was like… “I love you” & then they had sex.

Creativity/Originality: 10/15
The creativity wasn’t all that great. Like I said above, I felt like I was reading the same thing over and over again but with different characters.

Flow: 6/10
I thought the flow went really fast. At first, they guys had troubles with each other and the next thing you know, they’re having sex.

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 6/10
I saw a few spelling and grammar mistakes, which got in the way of me trying to understand what was going on. Especially when they were having ‘it’, I wasn’t able to understand what was going on. You should try proofreading before posting the chapters.

Characterization: 5/10
There absolutely no characterization in the stories. I wasn’t able to tell any of the guy’s personality. You should try to add some things here and there about what their personalities.

Writing Style: 6/10
Your writing style was really hard to read and understand. There were parts when I was like, “What is she trying to write?” And also, I was really confused with the P.O.V’s. Instead of writing just, “Min’s P.O.V., you should write Changmin’s P.O.V. so it’s easier to understand who’s P.O.V. it is, because at first, I thought it Sung Min & not Changmin. Not really a big fan of yaoi, so I don’t really know the name’s of the pairings.

Overall Enjoyment: 3/5
Honestly, I didn’t enjoy the story. Like I said, I felt like I was reading the same thing over and over. It wasn’t interesting, nor was it fun for me.

Sub Total: 58/100

Bonus: 3/5
These points are for the effort you put in trying to update your story.Sorry if it was harsh, but it’s my honest opinion and hope you continue to work harder on your current/future stories ! (=

Total: 61/100