Living dreams by Patra86

Author : Patra86
Title : Living dreams
Link : http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/livingdreams/
Status : Completed
Reviewer : Anna Sungmin @ RawrOutLoud

Warning : The reviewer may not know the author and vice versa. We are here to review your fan fiction as honest as we can in order for you to improve. Irritating words and eye-sore critics may appear in this, -directly or indirectly. But all of that is for no other means, except to aid you in improving yourself. I sincerely apologize if my review contains any offensive comments and criticism. Thank you.

Title : 3.5/5
The title is calm and simple, but doesn’t really emphasize the story of two guys. Some may like it, but I prefer something different. So it can show how unique and outstanding your story is.

Poster/Background : 9/10
The poster is really hot. With the boys all together. I like how you put GD and Taeyang’s pics bigger than the others. But I deducted a point because of the color of your background. Not saying that your background didn’t match, but there’s another color that matched the whole thing accurately.

Forewords : -/10
There’s no introduction to your story. So automatically, there’s no points.

Plot : 12/15
The plot is something which hangs around winglin today. And since this is one-shots and it keeps on changing plot, I cannot really concentrate on one spot. I will have to combine all and think one by one. Some plot interests me, while others don’t.

Creativity/ Originality : 13/15
Not much to say. As I said earlier, the plot hangs around winglin. But I have to give the points to you for originality. You made the whole story long and descriptive, which is really good. Keep it up.

Flow : 10/10
The flow is great. You didn’t keep it too fast, and not too slow either. So it’s perfectly fine and clean.

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary : 9/10
Notice that there’s some forgivable mistakes. People with flawless fan fictions doesn’t exist. Everybody does mistakes, even if it’s a small one. Come to the idea that your story is YAOI, it needs a lot of description to make people imagine what is going on between them and how they acted. And you succeeded in making me understand their actions. Why? Because you carefully inserted vocabularies as helping words so that your story wont tremble. You described things pretty good as well.

Characterization : 9/10
Good. You did include of how the boys are. Example, their works and what they are. But not much of their personality.

Writing style : 10/10
Ah.. No problem with this. It’s so easy to read.

Overall enjoyment : 3/5
It’s described neatly and carefully, I can’t judge more. Notice that YAOI relationship never gained my attention. Enjoying the story depends on everyone. Some may think YAOI is very interesting, some may not. Well, for me. I’m at no one’s side.

Sub total : 78.5/90

Bonus : 2.5/5

Total : 81/90 (Because I didn’t include the 10 marks of your foreword.) = 90/100