Setbacks Of A Winglin Author by nom d'écran .

Title: Setbacks Of A Winglin Author
Author: nom d'écran .
URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/HEEZYOO6/
Reviewer by: LaurenLCD @ i-DEAS
http://thrashing-ideas.blogspot.com/


Title: 3/5
The average reader on winglin isn't interested in commentary, unfortunately. Those who see winglin as a site with flaws and wants those flaws to be seen for what they are will be interested, however.

First Impression: 5/10
Because there was no forewords, I got the impression that you were/are a lazy writer. Maybe you don't write like this on your other forewords, but on this one, you didn't even try.

Forewords: 0/10
As stated before: You didn't even try. Forewords are a glimpse into the author's writing style before the actual writing takes place. If I hadn't skipped and gone straight to the one-shot, I would have clicked the Main Index button without a second glance because the foreword gives me my first impression of the kind of writer you are. For future stories I recommend the following format:

[Title]
[Author]
[Rating]
[Length/Chapters]
[Characters]
[summary]
[Warning]
[Disclaimer]
[Credits]

***

Character Bios:
*A few sentences each for each major character*

***

Author's Note:
*optional*

Plot: N/A/15
This one-shot wasn't about a particualar event or series of events. It was basically commentary.

Creativity/Originality: 13/15
You're not the first, and I doubt you'll be the last to write a commentary/rant about winglin. However, I've seen authors who rant about topics such as this with a bit more creativity and humor. Although, since it is a serious topic, I didn't expect to be in stitches.

Flow: 9/10
A few transitional sentences seemed a bit out of place, but for the most part, it was organized.

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 8/10
You have a good vocabulary and I certainly hoped it expanded since October 2009. However, a few of your sentences are fragments. Some sentences are wordy or lack the correct punctuation.

Fragments:

1. The apply stories.

2. Genuineness.

Wordiness/Punctuation placement/etc.:

1. It all started out when one night, I snooped around my cousin's laptop and found a site I had no interest in whatsoever.
This could be changed to: It all started one night[.] I snooped around [on] my cousin's laptop, finding a site I had no interest in, whatsoever.

2. Back in 2004 when winglin was amicable[,] (Of course, not that it isn't [any]more; but every now and then, a scoundrel would come into view and revile innocent word slingers) I remember it as a site where no one cared for the cover of the book.

3. But these days, oh these days .. Boy have everyone CHANGED their view on stories.
This could be changed to: But these days... Boy, [has] everyone [changed] their view on stories.
*note: even though winglin doesn't have an italics feature and you meant to capitalize the word for emphasis, it's still incorrect grammar.

4. Because once in a blue moon in that sentence actually means every day.
This could be changed to: 'Once in a blue moon' actually means every day.

5. Poor choice of words and lack of common sense, I'm sure that at one point (if, that is, you're an author who makes apply stories) you've felt as if this person copied ['this'] from you, or that person copied ['that'] from you. I'd be a total hypocrite if I said I have never been inspired by someone else. [But,] what I don't get is why you would demand originality when for the most part, originality is dead.


Characterisation: N/A/10

Writing Style: 9/10
You were clear and didn't ramble off topic.

Overall Enjoyment: 5/5
For the most part, everything you've written regarding this topic is on point. I have seen such actions of the sort many times. If I may jump on the bandwagon...

Have you ever had your personality copied?
- Not to my knowledge, and even if I have, I don't care.

Have you ever been accused of copying someone else's story / plot?
- No. However, I can admit to being inspired by a story and using elements of said story. Who hasn't? Originality is dead and in an age where everything (clothes, movies, music) is remade and trends make comebacks, it's difficult to be original unless you've lived your whole life under a rock.

Have you ever had your application jocked?
- I don't make apply fics. Even if I did, there is no set rule to who can have what on their application form. If someone 'jocked' my application, I wouldn't bat an eyelash.

Have you ever been told that you don't have any writing skill?
- No. I personally think I can do better, but I'm my own worst critic.

Have you ever been bad mouthed by others?
- No, but I have friends on winglin who have. In some cases, this caused them to leave for a while (if not altogether).

Have you ever felt the need to turn your story into an apply story all because you know it's the fastest way to get comments?
- No. Comments are encouraging, but they shouldn't be the sole purpose of writing. If I wanted someone to gush over my writing on a constant basis, I have family and friends to do that without posting anything online.


Sub Total: 55/100

Bonus: 10/5
Because you said what really does need to be said.

Total: 67/100

If I didn't have to factor in the Plot and Characterization, your score would have been higher. Because I had to, you lost 25 points in addition to the forewords totalling 35 points. If you ignore the 25 points, you have 67/75, which is pretty good, but needs a bit improvement.