Thursday, July 15, 2010

Raindrops by Ana

Title: Raindrops
Author: Ana
URL: http://winglin.net/fanfic/_raindrops/
Reviewed by: Andi @ i-DEAS

*Note: This is my first review back from hiatus. If it sounds a little off, I apologize. Also, I have the Muppets version of Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen in my head—and it’s driving me crazy—so I also apologize for any mistakes I make that I don’t catch. Please request your future reviews at i-DEAS! (Yay I got a bit of advertising done! WHOO!)*

Title: 4.5/5
I hope you don’t mind the half point getting knocked off. My explanation: the title fit your story well. Really well. So well, your story seems like it revolves around the title. But I think you should have used the Korean version of the word instead of “raindrops.” That would have caught my attention more. I’m the curious type, and when I see something I don’t know, I tackle it head-on. I’m weird like that. It’s the nerd in me.

First Impression: 9/10
The poster’s great! It compliments the mood of the story (though I don’t know how the moon ties into the plot, if that is the moon at all. If it’s not, I feel retarded and should be walloped with a stinking broomstick). The simplicity of it matches your writing well. No, that was not an insult. I’ll get to that later.

Forewords: 10/10
Short and to the point. Since this is a one-shot, you really don’t need a huge explanation about things. You even mentioned the characters’ names. Brava!

Plot: 13/15
I got a little confused with the “he”s and the “she”s. I realized you were talking about a different girl than the main character, but you might want to clarify that. I loved the plot overall, though. You see it in real-life all the time: a friend who wants to be more than a friend with their crush, but their crush doesn’t exactly see eye-to-eye with them. The rain added to the melancholy (at first) and then tied in at the end since she felt that the rain washed away the heartache she had for Junsu.

Creativity/Originality: 13.5/15
Pretty original, but not one-of-a-kind. You don’t see this sort of a story too often. Usually, the unrequited love somehow becomes requited at the end. But you didn’t follow that clichĂ©. You had the main character choose differently, and stop infatuating over someone who would never feel the same as she. Excellent!

Flow: 10/10
No problems here. An easy score, huh?

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 9/10
I didn’t find any mistakes in spelling…or grammar…or any problems with capitalization. You used vibrant enough language and words to create some imagery and pretty mental pictures.

Characterization: 8/10
Junsu and Aecha were fine enough, but who was this random girl? Was she a friend of Aecha? Was she a rival? And how was Aecha and Junsu’s relationship before Aecha fell for him? Were they best friends? Friends since childhood? I wanted these questions to be answered before the end, and they weren’t.

Writing Style: 10/10
ARGH, I WANT TO GIVE YOU MORE THAN A TEN. A TWENTY SOUNDS BETTER. Sorry. It’s so simple, it’s utterly beautiful. There are times when huge amounts of details make a story a story. With yours, it’s the opposite. You didn’t need big words and large paragraphs with heaping amounts of details. I could almost feel the freaking raindrops. And the fact that you tied rain to two different things (I applaud you if you did it on purpose, I giggle if you did it by accident) amazed me. Keep writing this way, and you’re sure to raise some eyebrows, girlie.

Overall Enjoyment: 5/5
Loved it, loved it, loved it! It was sweet and short, and an all-around good one-shot.

Sub Total: 92/100

Bonus: 3/5
You used Junsu. He’s the butt of many of my jokes. (No pun intended.)

Total: 95/100

And now Single Ladies by BeyoncĂ© is in my head. Great. Oops, back to my reviewing. Ahem. You did a great job, and I’m glad you chose i-DEAS for your request. Do come back again, and if you want, request me. I’d be glad to review for you again. I loved this story, and I wish you the best of luck with all your future writings. ^^

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